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# The Hoof And Trunk Post

Unfair and Imbalanced

## Sitemaps

- [XML Sitemap](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website.

## Posts

- [Stimulus Checks Halted To Print Tiny Trump Penis](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/stimulus-checks-halted-to-print-tiny-trump-penis/) - Millions are left waiting for Trump to rise to the occasion, as he disappoints everyone with his inability to perform under pressure.
- [House GOP Impeaches Cuban-American Alejandro Mayorkas Because "Cubans Are Just A Different Brand Of Mexican"](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/house-gop-impeaches-cuban-american-alejandro-mayorkas-because-cubans-are-just-a-different-brand-of-mexican/) - A Historical shift begins today, as the GOP-led House has voted to impeach Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas. He is now the first Cabinet secretary to be impeached in nearly 150 years, but once folks found out he was Cuban, it was no surprise to them. "Oh, well, I mean, he sure looked like one A Historical shift begins today, as the GOP-led House has voted to impeach Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas.
- [Sports Are More Important Than Anything Else, Ever](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/sports-are-more-important-than-anything-else-ever/) - Nothing is more important to our freedom and stability as a nation than playing a game.
- [You Can Call Trump A Boil-Infested, Shit-Eating Satan Baby And He Just Has To Take It](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/you-can-call-trump-a-boil-infested-shit-eating-satan-baby-and-he-just-has-to-take-it/) - Insult him to your heart's content! It is illegal for the big cheese to block you on Twitter, so now is the time to let it all out!
- [Supreme Court Status Lowered To Inferior Court](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/supreme-court-status-lowered-to-inferior-court/) - We used to think that the Supreme Court just meant that they came with sour cream, not sour people.
- [Priest Blames Pride Parade Photos For Facebook Downtime](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/priest-blames-pride-parade-photos-for-facebook-downtime/) - Was it really divine intervention that took down Facebook and Instagram photos for one whole day? This priest seems to think so.
- [Fish-Human Hybrids Still Don't Exist](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/fish-human-hybrids-still-dont-exist/) - The CDC confirmed today that fish/human hybrids do not exist, but what will that do to our poor, confused children?
- [Kellyanne Conway Confirmed To Be From Alternate Universe Constantly Stuck In Opposite Day](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/kellyanne-conway-confirmed-to-be-from-alternate-universe-constantly-stuck-in-opposite-day/) - Black is white, up is down and we are screwed.
- [Sean Spicer Resigns Thanks To Trump Hiring Gollum As Communications Director](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/sean-spicer-resigns-thanks-to-trump-hiring-gollum-as-communications-director/) - An unexpected choice for Communications Director has Sean Spicer running for Mount Doom.
- [What Happens If We Lose Net Neutrality?](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/what-happens-if-we-lose-net-neutrality/) - What happens if we lose the battle for Net Neutrality? This explosive and exhaustively detailed article lays it all out for you.
- [Trump's Secret Soviet Past Tied To Gorky Park](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/trumps-secret-soviet-past-tied-to-gorky-park/) - An unlikely alliance with some Russians during the fall of the USSR is proving to be problematic for Donald Trump.
- [Rotting Bag Of Cottage Cheese Thrown Out Of White House Two Weeks Ago But It Still Stinks](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/rotting-bag-of-cottage-cheese-thrown-out-of-white-house-two-weeks-ago-but-it-still-stinks/) - We had no idea that the offensive blob was out of the White House but that's mostly because it wasn't the only one in there, to begin with.
- [Trump and Kim Jong-un To Battle To The Death In Micro-Penis Sword-fight](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/trump-and-kim-jong-un-to-battle-to-the-death-in-micro-penis-sword-fight/) - A little can usually go a long way, but not in this case.
- [Trump Twitter Tirade Takes Dark Turn](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/trump-twitter-tirade-takes-dark-turn/) - The Twit of Twitter tweets a trite tirade that tempts terror.
- [Trump Orders USA To Pull Out Of Kathy Griffin By 2020](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/trump-orders-usa-to-pull-out-of-kathy-griffin-by-2020/) - Is it right that we are leaving the rest of the world to deal with Kathy Griffin?
- [Chris Christie's Baggage Handler Nominated For FBI Director](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/chris-christies-baggage-handler-nominated-for-fbi-director/) - If you can't hire the guy making the fumble, hire the guy handling the sack.
- [Marine Le Pen Determined To Prove Women Are Equally Awful](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/marine-le-pen-determined-to-prove-women-are-equally-awful/) - If you thought the gender-swapped Ghostbusters was bad, wait til you see what France has in store.
- [Trump Sides With Billionaire Tony Stark In Civil War](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/trump-sides-with-billionaire-tony-stark-in-civil-war/) - The commander in chief really shows us his grasp on American history.
- [217 Republican Names Have Been Added To Black Market Organ Harvesting List](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/217-republican-names-have-been-added-to-black-market-organ-harvesting-list/) - They think they won the vote but they might have just lost their kidneys.
- [ISIS Claims Responsibility For Trump And Other Tragedies](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/isis-claims-responsibility-for-trump-and-other-tragedies/) - These days ISIS seems to crave attention as much as small child that is trying to get their mom's attention while she's on the phone.
- [Donald Trump Mistakenly Tweets Nuclear Arming Code "Covfefe"](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/donald-trump-mistakenly-tweets-nuclear-arming-code-covfefe/) - Donald Trump fumbles the nuclear football with his latest Twitter tirade
- [Legendary Good Guy With A Gun Found Shot To Death](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/legendary-good-guy-with-a-gun-found-shot-to-death/) - He may have missed the mark almost every time, but we're going to miss him even more.
- [Paul Ryan Vows To Destroy The Healthcare System](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/paul-ryan-vows-to-destroy-the-healthcare-system/) - This is not a joke. This is not satire. This really happened.
- [A Bunch Of Dicks Vote To Make Life Harder For Vaginas](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/a-bunch-of-dicks-vote-to-make-life-harder-for-vaginas/) - Life is pretty hard for dicks, but it's much worse for vaginas.
- [US Launches 59 Missiles Loaded With Pepsi At Syria](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/us-launches-59-missiles-loaded-with-pepsi-at-syria/) - You've got the wrong one baby, uh uh.
- [5 Things We're Surprised We Didn't Find In Mike Pence's E-Mails](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/5-things-were-surprised-we-didnt-find-in-mike-pences-e-mails/) - What mysteries and terrors lurk in those stolen Mike Pence e-mails?
- [Donald Trump To Lower Taxes By Letting Everyone Die](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/donald-trump-to-lower-taxes-by-letting-everyone-die/) - If there is no one left complain, won't his approval numbers increase?
- [Complete Moron Impresses Millions By Reading Out Loud For An Hour](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/complete-moron-impresses-millions-by-reading-out-loud-for-an-hour/) - We had no idea he could do it! Reading is fundamental!
- [Donald Trump Won't Go To The White House Correspondents' Dinner Because He's A Punk-Ass Bitch](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/donald-trump-wont-go-to-the-white-house-correspondents-dinner-because-hes-a-punk-ass-bitch/) - This man, clearly, has no balls.
- [First Contact From TRAPPIST-1 Aliens Beg Us To Stay Away](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/first-contact-from-trappist-1-aliens-beg-us-to-stay-away/) - It looks like our new neighbors in space know us better than we know ourselves.
- [Hedorah The Smog Monster Confirmed To Head EPA](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/hedorah-the-smog-monster-confirmed-to-head-epa/) - Things are looking a little dark ahead, and it's not just the smog.
- [Donald Trump Prepares To Celebrate Presidents Day, Not Knowing It Isn't For Him](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/donald-trump-prepares-to-celebrate-presidents-day-not-knowing-it-isnt-for-him/) - The President's excitement for Presidents Day was quickly extinguished by reality.
- [Leading Democratic Gay Activist Outed As Straight During DNC](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/leading-democratic-gay-activist-outed-as-straight-during-dnc/) - A tremendous feeling of shock was felt as Rep. Chadwick F. Baker (D- NJ) was forced to resign from his lead chair position at the DNC.
- [US Senate Votes In Brick Of Cheese As Education Secretary](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/us-senate-votes-in-brick-of-cheese-as-education-secretary/) - Will it melt under pressure or just cause legislation blockage?
- [Silent Majority Asked To Go Back To Being Silent After Having Nothing Good To Say](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/silent-majority-asked-to-go-back-to-being-silent-after-having-nothing-good-to-say/) - We don't even want them to speak when being spoken to, at this point.
- [DAPL Police To Celebrate Thanksgiving By Slaughtering Native Americans And Stealing Their Land](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/dapl-police-to-celebrate-thanksgiving-by-slaughtering-native-americans-and-stealing-their-land/) - Could we get a slice of justice with that pumpkin pie?
- [Americans Running Out Of Supervillain Group Names For Trump Cabinet](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/americans-running-out-of-supervillain-group-names-for-trump-cabinet/) - A crisis of finite names has hit the snark filled waters of American politics.
- [France To Shut Down All Coal Power Plants By 2023 To Prove That Americans Are Bigger Assholes](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/france-to-shut-down-all-coal-power-plants-by-2023-to-prove-that-americans-are-bigger-assholes/) - France is finally planning on being better than us at something, but we're still beating them at something else.
- [Donald Trump Backs Off Of Most Campaign Promises After Being Briefed On Existence Of Aliens](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/donald-trump-backs-off-of-most-campaign-promises-after-being-briefed-on-existence-of-aliens/) - Nothing humbles a man like finding out that there is other, more-intelligent life in space.
- [Democrats Vow To Make America Greater Again In 2020](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/democrats-vow-to-make-america-greater-again-in-2020/) - The party of hope and progress makes a promise to look forward!
- [Thousands Of Americans Denied "I Voted" Stickers, Invalidating Their Votes](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/thousands-of-americans-denied-i-voted-stickers-invalidating-their-votes/) - You think you have voted, but your vote might not even count...
- [White House To Be Subsidized By Corporate Sponsorship Starting In Fall Of 2017](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/white-house-to-be-subsidized-by-corporate-sponsorship-starting-in-fall-of-2017/) - Sponsorship may be the answer to our budgetary concerns in a post-Obama America.
- [Republicans Motion To Ban Signs Claiming They Are Not Covered By 2nd Amendment](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/republicans-motion-to-ban-signs-claiming-they-are-not-covered-by-2nd-amendment/) - I really did enjoy watching them scurry about, though, like scared little children.
- [Walmart And McDonald's Are Set To Own Your Highways In A Trump America](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/walmart-and-mcdonalds-are-set-to-own-your-highways-in-a-trump-america/) - Are you ready to see the biggest names in American commerce adorn your path to work every day?
- [House Republicans Afraid They Might Have To Start Working Again In 2017](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/house-republicans-afraid-they-might-have-to-start-working-again-in-2017/) - Could Congress finally go back to doing its job? It's totally possible.
- [Americans Terrified By Sample Ballot Showing More Than 4 Candidates For President](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/americans-terrified-by-sample-ballot-showing-more-than-4-candidates-for-president/) - There are more people running for president than you think. Choose wisely.
- [A Week Before The Election, Nation Shares In Collective Shrug And Says "F*ck it!"](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/a-week-before-the-election-nation-shares-in-collective-shrug-and-says-fck-it/) - Do you feel like this whole election season just makes you want to give up on life? You're not alone!
- [Donald Trump And Hillary Clinton Have A Problem Remembering Their Friends](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/donald-trump-and-hillary-clinton-have-a-problem-remembering-their-friends/) - This might be the least satirical piece we've posted, but that doesn't stop it from being funny... or true.
- [The Demented Orange Beast: A Halloween Poem](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/the-demented-orange-beast-a-halloween-poem/) - It's really hard to try to rhyme the word Orange, so we're not even going to try.
- [Saturday Funnies: A New Wife!](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/saturday-funnies-a-new-wife/) - Nothing gets the Trump blood going like a hot, young Russian.
- [Hillary Clinton Issues Colbert Style Green Screen Challenge](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/hillary-clinton-issues-colbert-style-green-screen-challenge/) - What will you have Hillary standing in front of? Only your imagination can limit you!
- [Frankenstein Party Vows To Put Together Presidential Candidate By 2020](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/frankenstein-party-vows-to-put-together-presidential-candidate-by-2020/) - Maybe the solution we need is a party that is a piece of each of us.
- [Only Six Newspapers Endorsed Trump But His Supporters Didn't Notice Because They Don't Read](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/only-six-newspapers-endorsed-trump-but-his-supporters-didnt-notice-because-they-dont-read/) - They might buy these conservative rags, but they sure aren't reading them.
- [Walk of Fame Replaces Donald Trump's Tribute With Brown Star](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/walk-of-fame-replaces-donald-trumps-tribute-with-brown-star/) - There is nothing more fitting than having a brown star represent an asshole.
- [Your Preferred Candidate Is Leading In The Polls Of Your Favorite News Source](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/your-preferred-candidate-is-leading-in-the-polls-of-your-favorite-news-source/) - You're voting for who? Well, guess what, they are winning!
- [Americans Would Rather Vote For Negan](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/americans-would-rather-vote-for-negan/) - The unlikely winner of the presidency could be your favorite murderer!
- [2016 Continues To Go After The Wrong People](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/2016-continues-to-go-after-the-wrong-people/) - Hey, Death. You're taking our best people. Can we make a trade?
- [DDOS Attack Temporarily Spares Millions From Political Arguments](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/ddos-attack-temporarily-spares-millions-from-political-arguments/) - What does the world do when it can't argue online for 3 hours? Probably watch porn.
- [T-Shirt Designers Sad About Nearing End Of Ridiculous Election](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/t-shirt-designers-sad-about-nearing-end-of-ridiculous-election/) - What will you wear to mock our leadership, now?
- [Socks The Cat To Be Next Clinton Family Member To Be Groomed For The White House](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/socks-the-cat-to-be-next-clinton-family-member-to-be-groomed-for-the-white-house/) - There is nothing like bring some new pussy into the White House!
- [Mike Pence Is A Replicant Android](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/mike-pence-is-a-replicant-android/) - Why else would a supposed human give such ridiculous, robotic responses to little girls?
- [Republican Party Feared Dead At 162 Years Old](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/republican-party-feared-dead-at-162-years-old/) - Very sad news is coming our way, soon. We hope for a recovery, but it's not looking good.
- [Final Presidential Debate Moved To High Desert State Prison](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/final-presidential-debate-moved-to-high-desert-state-prison/) - The presidency is almost like it's own kind of prison as it is, right?
- [CNN Now Offers Free, Incorrect Legal Advice](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/cnn-now-offers-free-incorrect-legal-advice/) - The news conglomerate can't help trying to help you, even when they're wrong.
- [Saturday Funnies: Life's A Ball!](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/saturday-funnies-lifes-a-ball/) - Another, new, good old friendly family friendly laugh for Saturday Morning!
- [Government Asks George R.R. Martin To Rewrite Election So That Everyone Dies](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/government-asks-george-r-r-martin-to-rewrite-election-so-that-everyone-dies/) - Sometimes, only a master craftsman can save us from ourselves.
- [Media To Continue Releasing Maps Of Ridiculous Voter Scenarios](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/media-to-continue-releasing-maps-of-ridiculous-voter-scenarios/) - I'm sure you've seen all the stupid voting maps released lately. Here are a few more.
- [WikiLeaks Exposes Clinton's Hottest Lie](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/wikileaks-exposes-clintons-hottest-lie/) - We already know she's a liar, but she REALLY can't be trusted after this information leaked.
- [Pussies Grab Back As Cats React To The Don At The 2nd 2016 Debate](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/pussies-grab-back-as-cats-react-to-the-don-at-the-2nd-2016-debate/) - His answers to questions are hardly fit for human consumption so we left this one to his favorite thing to grab!
- [This Article Is Not About Donald Trump](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/this-article-is-not-about-donald-trump/) - A lot can happen in the world while you're looking at shiny things.
- [Binary Voting System Abolished As The Main 2 Parties Split Into 64,568](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/binary-voting-system-abolished-as-the-main-2-parties-split-into-64568/) - Did the choice get a lot easier or a lot harder?
- [WikiLeaks Clinton Docs Less Likely To Release By November Than "Half-Life 3"](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/wikileaks-clinton-docs-less-likely-to-release-by-november-than-half-life-3/) - You think this is all some kind of game, Julian Assange? The internet never forgets.
- [Man Mistakenly Walks Into VP Debate Instead of Fart Contest, Doesn't Notice For 30 Minutes](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/man-mistakenly-walks-into-vp-debate-instead-of-fart-contest-doesnt-notice-for-30-minutes/) - One man's debate is another man's fart contest.
- [Racism Dubbed "The New Black" But Doesn't Like Being Called Black](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/racism-dubbed-the-new-black-but-doesnt-like-being-called-black/) - Racism has a bit of a problem with being put under a colored microscope.
- [USA And Russia Prepare For Cold War 2: Electric Booglaoo](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/usa-and-russia-prepare-for-cold-war-2-electric-booglaoo/) - I bet you can't wait to pre-order front row tickets for this hot, new blockbuster engagement!
- [Saturday Funnies! - Grabbing Hands Grab All They Can](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/saturday-funnies-grabbing-hands-grab-all-they-can/) - Well, we sure didn't see this one coming! Another Feel-good Saturday Comic strip!
- [Rats Fleeing Sinking Ship Offended By Comparison To GOP](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/rats-fleeing-sinking-ship-offended-by-comparison-to-gop/) - These rats are tired of being compared to the Republicans voting for Hillary Clinton.
- [U.S. Drone Strike Kills Afghan Civilians, But It's Okay Because They're Brown](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/u-s-drone-strike-kills-afghan-civilians-but-its-okay-because-theyre-brown/) - No white, American men died in this drone strike that killed innocents, so it's okay!
- [Unknown, Former CIA Operative Gaining In GOP Backing Against Trump](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/unknown-former-cia-operative-gaining-in-gop-backing-against-trump/) - Can an unknown, unnamed man, or woman, gain control of the GOP's votes, even if they don't know who it is... or if they even really exist?
- [Donald Trump To Be Most Expensive Jobber In WWE History](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/donald-trump-to-be-most-expensive-jobber-in-wwe-history/) - Can the ultimate heel pull out a victory or has this election already pinned us into submission?
- [Libertarians Are Forgetting Who Gary Johnson Is](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/libertarians-are-forgetting-who-gary-johnson-is/) - When the head can't remember, the body has no place to go.
- [Putin Resurrects KGB To Bring Home Yakov Smirnoff](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/putin-resurrects-kgb-to-bring-home-yakov-smirnoff/) - If you want to be afraid of Russia, now is the time.
- [Saturday Funnies! - What's Aleppo?](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/saturday-funnies-whats-aleppo/) - Here is the first in our brand new line of light-hearted political cartoons!
- [Prisoners Are On Strike, But You Don't Care Because They're Prisoners](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/prisoners-are-on-strike-but-you-dont-care-because-theyre-prisoners/) - Bad people don't deserve to be treated like people, or do they? Wait, where is my raise for writing this?
- [Celebrities Comment On First Debate But We Ignore It](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/celebrities-comment-on-first-debate-but-we-ignore-it/) - As the famous people check in on who they are voting for, we check out.
- [The First 2016 Presidential Debate Was Terrifying](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/the-first-2016-presidential-debate-was-terrifying/) - If you weren't scared for the USA before, you will be now.
- [Facebook Attempts To Increase Self-Esteem During The Most Hated USA Election](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/facebook-attempts-to-increase-self-esteem-during-the-most-hated-usa-election/) - Do you feel good about yourself? No? Well, then tell the world that you're registered to vote!
- [Clinton Vs. Trump Compared To Crab Vs. Shoe & Other Dumb Battles](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/clinton-vs-trump-compared-to-crab-vs-shoe-other-dumb-battles/) - They can't all be winners but they sure can all be losers.
- [Politicians Vow To Increase Homelessness Thanks To Vagrant Vigilance](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/politicians-vow-to-increase-homelessness-thanks-to-vagrant-vigilance/) - The homeless are saving our lives even when we haven't shown an iota of care about theirs.
- [Stephen Hawking To Trump: "I'm Going To Kick Your F*cking Ass!"](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/stephen-hawking-to-trump-im-going-to-kick-your-fcking-ass/) - Stephen Hawking doesn't take messing with climate change, sitting down.
- [Minorities And Poor Excited To Vote For People That Don't Represent Them](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/minorities-and-poor-excited-to-vote-for-people-that-dont-represent-them/) - Marching forward onto uncertain destiny, voters are more than ready to not be informed.
- [Investigations Into Scott Walker's "Dark Money" Show Racial Bias In Terminology](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/investigations-into-scott-walkers-dark-money-show-racial-bias-in-terminology/) - It used to be that money was considered to be just one color, but now with the advent of "dark money" we see how people really feel.
- [Dumpster Blown Up After Being Mistaken For Donald Trump](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/dumpster-blown-up-after-being-mistaken-for-donald-trump/) - Could this explosion have been a failed assassination attempt? The answer will shock you into a coma.
- [Researchers Question Trump's Support of Professional Women, Besides Prostitutes](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/researchers-question-trumps-support-of-professional-women-besides-prostitutes/) - Not all pay is created equal and neither are all women, in Trump's eyes.
- [USA To North Korea: "Our D*ck Is Bigger!"](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/usa-to-north-korea-our-dck-is-bigger/) - You know things are getting serious when the USA decides to whip it out.
- [Sen. Ted Cruz Opposes ICANN In Order To Erase Zodiac Killer References](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/sen-ted-cruz-opposes-icann-in-order-to-erase-zodiac-killer-references/) - Is he really championing our freedom of speech or does he want to control what you can read?
- [Edible Arrangements To Offer Basket Of Deplorables This Thanksgiving](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/edible-arrangements-to-offer-basket-of-deplorables-this-thanksgiving/) - This fall there is only one smart choice to make: a delicious fruit basket filled with hate!
- [Nation Remembers 15 Years Of Hating The Wrong People](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/nation-remembers-15-years-of-hating-the-wrong-people/) - Instead of never forgetting the bad, maybe we should always remember the good?
- [Hillary Clinton Hit With Zombie Plague But Is "Feeling Better"](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/hillary-clinton-hit-with-zombie-plague-but-is-feeling-better/) - Hillary's health scare turns out to be not the worst possible thing for this country.
- [Mike Pence To Say More Shocking Things Just To Get Noticed](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/mike-pence-to-say-more-shocking-things-just-to-get-noticed/) - Little kids get annoying and loud when no one is paying attention to them. GOP VP nominations do it, too.
- [iPhone 7 Specs Cause Largest Strike In World History](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/iphone-7-specs-cause-largest-strike-in-world-history/) - Millions of workers strike in India and it just has to be because of the iPhone 7. There is no other reason.
- [Record USA Flooding Tied To White Male Tears](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/record-usa-flooding-tied-to-white-male-tears/) - Between Hillary Clinton, #BLM and the USA Women's Olympic medals, we might have a big problem.
- [Latest Polls Show That Pandering Will Lose This Election For Everyone](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/latest-polls-show-that-pandering-will-lose-this-election-for-everyone/) - Just one more picture of fried chicken, grape soda or Land-O-Lakes butter and this election is going to no one.
- [The Hoof And Trunk Post Is Back!](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/the-hoof-and-trunk-post-is-back/) - We're back, open for business and with a new coat of paint!
- [KKK Refuses To Stop Wearing White After Labor Day](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/kkk-refuses-to-stop-wearing-white-after-labor-day/) - The ultimate fashion faux pas of the 19th Century is still in practice today by the KKK.
- [Clinton Server Bombshell: More Porn Than E-Mail](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/clinton-server-bombshell-more-porn-than-e-mail/) - We'd be more surprised at the amount of porn on the Clinton server if it wasn't for how unsurprising it is.
- [Green Party’s Jill Stein Flew To Mount Doom Instead Of Columbus](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/green-partys-jill-stein-flew-to-mount-doom-instead-of-columbus/) - This is certainly one election to rule them all but that doesn't excuse this foolishness.
- [WE ARE ANONYMOUSE!](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/we-are-anonymouse/) - We control the horizontal. We control the vertical. We also control the diagonal.
- [Latinos For Trump Promises Taco Truck On Every Corner If Clinton Wins](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/latinos-for-trump-promises-taco-truck-on-every-corner-if-clinton-wins/) - It's official: now everyone is going to vote for Hillary Clinton.
- [Twitter Is More Racist Than Your Crazy, Drunk Uncle](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/twitter-is-more-racist-than-your-crazy-drunk-uncle/) - Twitter is a breeding ground for scum and hate, and I'm not just talking about FIFA.
- [Mike Pence’s Only Major Headlines Are About His Haircut, Including This One](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/mike-pences-only-major-headlines-are-about-his-haircut-including-this-one/) - First we couldn't find royalty free images of him and now the only thing people know about it him is that he got a haircut in PA. Yikes.
- [Mike Pence So Unloved And Unimportant That Royalty Free Photos Of Him Do Not Exist](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/mike-pence-so-unloved-and-unimportant-that-royalty-free-photos-of-him-do-not-exist/) - This isn't even really a joke. Seriously, there are no photos we could legally use to talk about Mike Pence. He's that unimportant.
- [God Declares Self As Swing Voter: “I Have Not Chosen Either Of Them, No Matter What They Say!”](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/god-declares-self-as-swing-voter-i-have-not-chosen-either-of-them-no-matter-what-they-say/) - The big one felt the need to just put this out there, before one of the candidates decided to claim themselves as God's candidate.
- [Hillary Clinton Releases Tax Returns, Reveals Ties To Potential Hate Groups and Terrorist Organizations](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/hillary-clinton-releases-tax-returns-reveals-ties-to-potential-hate-groups-and-terrorist-organizations/) - Who knows, she might even be backing your least favorite singer on The Voice!
- [Major Terrorist Organizations To Use Sarcasm As Main Weapon If Trump Becomes President](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/major-terrorist-organizations-to-use-sarcasm-as-main-weapon-if-trump-becomes-president/) - The world's baddies are rolling their eyes at the idea of Donald Trump being the worst they would have to face.
- [NRA Wastes $3 Million On Bashing Hilary Clinton, Already Regrets Purchase](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/nra-wastes-3-million-on-bashing-hilary-clinton-already-regrets-purchase/) - This ridiculous purchase comes under fire from those that simply wonder why you would spend that much on an ad that wasn't for beer during the Super Bowl.
- [Judge Reed O’Connor Begs For A Transgender Urine And Feces Bath](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/judge-reed-oconnor-begs-for-a-transgender-urine-and-feces-bath/) - When you've got to go, you've got to go, but this guy wants you to go all over him.
- [France Bans Burkinis In Case Terrorists Decide To Go On Holiday](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/france-bans-burkinis-in-case-terrorists-decide-to-go-on-holiday/) - Who needs to decide what women can do with their vaginas when we can just tell them how they are allowed to cover them?
- [French Xenophobes Respond To Courts: “If Burkinis Are In, Beware Of T.I.Ts Out Situations"](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/french-xenophobes-respond-to-courts-if-burkinis-are-in-beware-of-t-i-ts-out-situations/) - As Terrorists In Training becomes the newest, coolest thing to shout out when hateful xenophobes see Muslims, we expect #TITsOut to start trending.
- [Armed Voters To Be Allowed At All Polling Locations This Fall](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/armed-voters-to-be-allowed-at-all-polling-locations-this-fall/) - What kind of crazy person decided this was an okay idea? Armed citizens voting? Chaos is sure to reign.
- [National Food Poisoning Epidemic Turns Out To Be Distaste Over Current Political Climate](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/national-food-poisoning-epidemic-turns-out-to-be-distaste-over-current-political-climate/) - If you're holding your stomach, trying not to vomit and running out of toilet paper, we now know why.
- [Popularity Of Dentists Increase As Donald Trump Becomes More Popular To Hate](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/popularity-of-dentists-increase-as-donald-trump-becomes-more-popular-to-hate/) - Who would think that the people that you pay to torture you and clean your teeth would wind up being more likable than... well, just about anyone?
- [Gary Johnson’s SuperPAC Spends $1M On TV Ads, Forgets That People Don’t Watch Live TV](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/gary-johnsons-superpac-spends-1m-on-tv-ads-forgets-that-people-dont-watch-live-tv/) - Give us $1 Million and we'll do much better for you than TV Ads, Gary! You silly, little man.
- [Former Reagan Director: “I’m Voting For Clinton!”](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/former-reagan-director-im-voting-for-clinton/) - Progressive thinking from a Conservative former director of Ronald Reagan? Who would have thought!
- [Supporters of Abigail Fisher Petition For “Soul Man” Mark Watson on $20 Bill](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/supporters-of-abigail-fisher-petition-for-soul-man-matt-watson-on-20-bill/) - Because who doesn't want a stack of Mark Watson's in their wallet? That doesn't even roll off the tongue well.
- [Domino’s Perfects Attack Drones To Kill You, Still Sucks At Making Pizza](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/dominos-perfects-attack-drones-to-kill-you-still-sucks-at-making-pizza/) - Now we know why the Noid was always hell bent on taking Domino's down. If only we had heeded his warning.
- [Trump To Stop Watching Olympics Due To Injuries: “They were too exciting!”](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/trump-to-stop-watching-olympics-due-to-injuries-they-were-too-exciting/) - This potential President is at least the leader of schadenfreude.
- [Hot Dog Sales Plummet As USA Tires Of NY Post Weiner Puns](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/hot-dog-sales-plummet-as-usa-tires-of-ny-post-weiner-puns/) - Clutch your wieners, hold onto your buns and prepare to dive into a world of sexting and sausages.
- [The English-Only Movement Wants To Erase Latin From Our Money](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/the-english-only-movement-wants-to-erase-latin-from-our-money/) - We have Latin words on our money. Do they have English words on money in Latin America? Probably not.
- [NFL Rejects Proposal For “Georgia Crackers” Team As “Racially Insensitive”](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/nfl-rejects-proposal-for-georgia-crackers-team-as-racially-insensitive/) - Somehow an image of a slave owner with a whip was just a bit too much for the NFL. Racial stereotypes are just wrong, when they're about that cracka-ass whitey.
- [American Hackers Upset Over Record High Outsourcing Of Hacktivism](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/american-hackers-upset-over-record-high-outsourcing-of-hacktivism/) - If you thought that foreigners were coming for your job, you're not alone. Hackers want to keep American hack jobs in America, too!
- [Anonymouse Attacks Federal Reserve Where It Doesn’t Really Hurt](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/anonymouse-attacks-federal-reserve-where-it-doesnt-really-hurt/) - Stay-at-home keyboard warriors, Anonymouse, declared war on the Federal Reserve today.
- [Climate Change Debunked By Republican Senator: “I Don’t Feel That Hot”](https://hoofandtrunkpost.com/climate-change-debunked-by-republican-senator-i-dont-feel-that-hot/) - While all the facts point to the world being the warmest it's ever been, Jim Inhofe disagrees.

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